THE MAN. Stick stuff to him at your peril. Jamesy Jamesy Jamesy Jamesy Jamesy JAMESY Lyne...look at him...you know you want a piece of that

Ali 'shagger' Mcleod, also known as 'clungey' despite being an international orienteer may be best known for his exploits off the pitch. He particularly enjoys barracks full of 20 men as well as Italian porches. He is known also as 'the sponge' because he is the stronger soaker upper.

When not in her cake form, may be seen canabalizing her own kind. Takes the minutes (and baked goods) at meetings, hopefully not too journalistically minded to put unfair slants on the meeting for her own agenda. She is the world-famous creator of the only grey cake ever known to man.

With "Big Dog" currently inpounded in a top secret location, Brian is free to live his life with a healthy supply of pedigree chum. Do not seek out big dog under any circumstances; the rumors he holds the formula for cold fusion are false. He collects potatoes that resemble famous people.

i hear he's counted to infinity twice, once with positive real numbers and once with fractions...

Friendly, fun face in the club for newcommers, trying to push the clubs boundaries in many directions including bringing the inflatable frog out when drinking. Apparently he sheds his skin once a fortnight to increase sexual prowess.

(Prefers to be called HOrr, on fridays only)

Finder of the golden fleece in Teviot after questing much of Edinburgh. Unfortunatly confiscated by management, removing all chance of him becoming king now.

Declined to comment, struggles with english you see, just mumbles stuff about shamrocks. An Irish orienteer by trade, he grew up wth mortals and evolved into a demi-god, legend has it due to him being nourished with nothing but Lucky Charms. When he grows up, he wants to be Jamesy Jamesy Jamesy Lyne.
His favourite potatoes are Maris Pipers.

They say she's as big as four cats, and she's got a retractable leg so as she can leap up at you better and she lights up at night, and she's got four ears. Two of them are for listening and the other two are kind of back-up ears, and her claws are as big as cups and for some reason she's got a tremendous fear of stamps and Spongey was tellin' me that she's got magnets on her tail so if you're made out of metal she can attach herself to you, and instead of a mouth she's got four arses...
Not to be mistaken for Hazel 2, if seen in the same place RUN AND HIDE (even if not at the same time).